[KS] Korean Culture for eldest son to care for parents

Sun Jun 15 22:11:27 EDT 2008

Hello everyone,

   David Prendergast’s book, “From Elder to Ancestor: Old Age, Death, and Inheritance in Modern Korea,” may be helpful.  (Global Oriental, 2005)  I haven’t read the entire book yet, but he addresses different aspects of the issue.  

Kyu-taik Sung’s address at the 1997 World Congress of Gerontology (“Filial Piety in Modern Times:  Timely Adaptation and Practice Patterns”; http://www.cas.flinders.edu.au/iag/proceedings/proc0030.htm) is also worth looking at.  

   Polling in 2002 showed 25.9% of respondents (20 years and over) thought they were performing their filial obligations well; 32.4% thought they were not performing their filial obligations well, and the remaining 41.7% thought they were average.  

    One anecdotal note about the increasing value of women—-a friend of mine mentioned that when marrying the groom’s family is still responsible for providing housing while the bride’s family is responsible for the furnishings therein.  With the steep growth in housing prices and the more modest increases in the cost of furnishing a house, a male’s household faces a very large financial burden.  

  Regards, mike

--- On Thu, 6/12/08, Stephen Epstein <Stephen.Epstein at vuw.ac.nz> wrote:

> From: Stephen Epstein <Stephen.Epstein at vuw.ac.nz>
> Subject: Re: [KS] Korean Culture for eldest son to care for parents
> To: "Korean Studies Discussion List" <koreanstudies at koreaweb.ws>
> Date: Thursday, June 12, 2008, 8:09 AM
> Dear all,
> 
> As an additional observation on this thread, it's worth
> noting the remarkable shift that's occurring away from
> preference for sons to preference for daughters. I include
> below a piece from Choe Sang Hun, who's been doing
> excellent work for the NY Times. The article appeared in
> December of 2007. If anybody can point me to recent surveys
> that specifically track S. Korean preferences on this issue,
> I'd be grateful. Choe's piece cites the ratio of
> male to female babies born, which would seem a reliable
> statistic, but I suspect there is more to the story, and
> that the change in birth ratio may be lagging behind the
> attitude change. Although there may be some pressure from
> older generations to have one son, anecdotally (at least in
> and around Seoul, among middle class/professional circles)
> the shift to daughter preference has been almost seismic in
> just the last few years, as far as I can tell. One reason
> I've heard given several times, related to what Gene
> notes, is that in conjunction with other changes in family
> structure, daughters are now felt to be more reliable
> caregivers for elderly parents than daughters-in-law.
> 
> Cheers, Stephen
> 
> 
> -----Original Message-----
> From: koreanstudies-bounces at koreaweb.ws on behalf of Eugene
> Y. Park
> Sent: Thu 2008-06-12 3:35 PM
> To: Korean Studies Discussion List
> Subject: Re: [KS] Korean Culture for eldest son to care for
> parents
>  
> Dear all,
> 
> I fully agree with Clark's observations. I'd even
> go as far as suggesting
> that for quite some time, whether to live with the
> man's parents (or even
> near by them) has been a contentious issue for marriage
> couples. Of course
> the Koreans are aware of the tradition of parents-eldest
> son cohabitation,
> but now a days one would be hard pressed to find a woman
> duly accepting
> and abiding by the notion. She may as well--and rightfully
> so--ask: Why
> should it be my husband's parents who should be taken
> care of while my own
> parents too need help?
> 
> On the last chuseok in Korea when I was trying to avoid the
> worst day of
> expressway traffic, a cousin of mine cynically noted: These
> days, it's all
> spread out; people make one-day trips, since the daughters
> in-law don't
> like to stay long at the parents-in-laws'.
> 
> Best,
> Gene
> 
> 
> On Thu, 6 12, 2008 06:23, Clark W Sorensen wrote:
> > Dear Lawrence,
> >
> > I didn't mean to imply that Korean culture has
> changed as fast as Korean
> > law, but still there have been fairly drastic changes.
> With the
> > equalization of inheritance between sons and between
> sons and daughters,
> > however, the emphasis on the eldest son is much less
> than it used to be.
> > Coresidence of parents with married children is the
> exception rather than
> > the rule in urban areas, and when such coresidence
> takes place, although
> > it is most often with the eldest son, it is sometimes
> with more affluent
> > younger sons, or even daughters. At contemporary
> ancestor worship rituals,
> > while the eldest son may give the first offering of
> liquor, the subsequent
> > offerings are often not now limited to two, but
> extended to as many
> > descendents as wish to make offerings including
> daughters in some
> > families. Roger Janelli and I have both contributed
> articles to Charlotte
> > Ikels edited volume "Filial Piety: Practice
> > and Discourse in Contemporary East Asia"
> (Stanford Press) that discuss
> > both change and continuity in this value in
> present-day Korea. Just
> > because people still read the same old texts
> doesn't mean they understand
> > the significance of these text in the same way their
> parents and
> > grandparents did.
> >
> > Clark
> >
> >
> > On Tue, 10 Jun 2008, lawrence driscoll wrote:
> >
> >>
> >> Dear List:
> >>
> >> Although Clark Sorenson's reply to InJung
> Cho's query sounded very
> >> adept, and may be all that the lawyer needed, I
> must say that I am
> >> surprised that the subject did not generate more
> discussion.
> >> In my own mind the intricate father-son
> relationship had always been
> >> fundamental to the Korean family structure, and to
> Korean culture in
> >> general.
> >>
> >> I must admit that my first reaction to such a
> query, made by a person
> >> with a name that is clearly Korean, was amazement.
>  But then I realized
> >> that if I were to be approached to answer a
> question about my own Irish
> >> heritage, I too would be at a loss. Our family
> roots are now some 5
> >> generations removed from Ireland. And I am
> guessing that Dr. Cho's may
> >> be similarly distant from Korea.
> >>
> >> But regardless of Clark's citing of 1988 as
> the official end to such
> >> filial obligations, I can't but help believe
> that for many, these duties
> >> of the eldest son continue to be deeply ingrained
> in the national
> >> psyche. Granted that while the three year mourning
> period at the
> >> gravesite of one's father, has long been
> relegated to antiquity, other
> >> manifestations of the Master's (Confucius)
> teachings are no doubt still
> >> in tact. Please correct me if I am wrong, and if
> the demise of this
> >> tradition has indeed been happening at a far
> faster pace.
> >>
> >> Thank you.
> >>
> >> Lawrence Driscoll    N.J., U.S.A.
> >>
> >> > Date: Fri, 6 Jun 2008 13:23:55 -0700>
> From: sangok at u.washington.edu>
> >> To: koreanstudies at koreaweb.ws> Subject: Re:
> [KS] Korean Culture for
> >> eldest son to care for parents> > Dear Dr.
> Cho,> > It was indeed true
> >> until 1988 that eldest sons in South Korea
> succeeded to the house
> >> headship, received extra property in inheritance,
> and were expected to
> >> take care of their parents in old age. Korea
> family law has been
> >> revised several times since then, however, and the
> Constitutional
> >> Court has made a number of critical decisions, so
> the issue is no
> >> longer cut and dried. Eldest sons can now
> partition from their birth
> >> house if they wish. Other children have a residual
> obligation to their
> >> parents as well, so the legal status of the eldest
> son at the time of
> >> his death would depend upon whether he was still
> registered on his
> >> parents family register, whether he had children
> of his own, and
> >> whether he had any siblings. Because of the
> complicated nature of all
> >> of these considerations I would think hiring a
> Korean lawyer would be
> >> well worth the cost.> > Clark W.
> Sorensen> University of Washington> >
> >> > On Fri, 6 Jun 2008, Injung Cho wrote:>
> > > Dear all,> >> > I was
> >> contacted by a lawyer about the Korean customs of
> looking after> >
> >> their old parents. I am afraid that I don't
> know much about this
> >> issue.> > So I am turning to this discussion
> forum for help. Any help
> >> will be> > greatly appreciated. I've
> attached her email below.> >> >
> >> Regards,> > InJung Cho> >> >
> =========================> >> > Further
> >> to our telephone conversation just now, I confirm
> that I act for> > a
> >> Korean family ??husband and wife who are farmers;
> their younger son>
> >> > (completing military service) and
> daughter.> >> > Last year their
> >> eldest son who had graduated with a degree in>
> > Hospitality
> >> Management was killed in the Kerang Rail
> accident.> >> > The family
> >> were flown over for the Memorial Service held last
> year.> > The eldest
> >> son was in Australia doing work experience in
> hotels with the> > hope
> >> of obtaining a better position in Korea with his
> international work> >
> >> experience. The family were assisting him
> financially during his> >
> >> studies and whilst he was here.> >> >
> They have advised that as is
> >> traditional in Korean society the eldest> >
> son would care for them in
> >> their retirement.> >> > This matter
> needs to be supported by
> >> independent proof of this cultural> > norm
> and I am hoping that there
> >> are some studies or statistics or other> >
> information which can be
> >> put before the court to establish the great>
> > financial loss to the
> >> parents.> >> > Any assistance will be
> greatly appreciated.> >> > Thank
> >> you> > Lesley Simons> >> >
> Lesley Simons & Associates> > Barristers &
> >> Solicitors & Migration Agents> > MARN:
> 0210699> > Tel: (613) 9509
> >> 2572> > lesleysimons at bigpond.com> >
> Fax: (613) 9509 2142> >> >> >>
> >>
> >> > >
> >>
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> >
> 
> 
> Eugene Y. Park
> Associate Professor
> Department of History
> Krieger Hall 200
> University of California, Irvine
> Irvine, CA 92697
> Tel. (949) 824-5275
> Fax. (949) 824-2865
> http://www.faculty.uci.edu/profile.cfm?faculty_id=4926